Natalie Reid Interview, October 17, 2020

Alright, so today's date is October 17, 2020. And the time is 1:08 Central Time. The interviewer is Mia Owens and I am located in Birmingham, Alabama, and the narrator is Natalie Reid and that we were you located?

Dallas, Texas.

Gotcha. And do I have your permission to record this interview?

Yes.

Great. Okay, so, for the first question, I think I kind of want to start at the beginning of your life. So could you share where you were born.

Um, so I'm going to try, and screw up this name so bad, but it's from the Jixangxi province of China, is what it says on my birth certificate. I was about 10 months old. And it's like back in January of 1996.

Gotcha, and that's when you were born or when you were adopted?

Adopted. I was born in April of '95.

Gotcha. And then where did you grow up after you were adopted?

Mostly in Texas, like in the Dallas area. I was in Kentucky for I think, a year. And then we move back to Dallas, and I've been here ever since.

Could you share where you were in Kentucky, and for how long.

I think it was called Greenville, Kentucky. I was only I was there when I was like, 18 months old. So I personally don't really remember it. But um, I think we were there for like, less than a year. So like, maybe 10 months?

Okay. Yeah. Was it, because of your family's circumstances, or could share a little bit more about why you ,I guess you moved?

I think it was just my dad got a job out there. He's a music minister at our church currently. And I think he was doing some--it could be schoolwork, or it could have just been a job opportunity that he wanted to pursue. And so we went out there. There are some stories that my mom would tell me about how like, it was kind of racist back in the day. And so me being like, the only non-white there, maybe like one or two other people, but like, we went to a Pizza Hut, apparently, and we they forgot my like little sippy cup or whatever. And the people who work there knew exactly who it belonged to, because they were like, Oh, it's the family with the Chinese girl. Um, so it was kind of like one of those types of towns. It probably is better nowadays. But back in probably like, what '97, '98 at that point, it was not the most welcoming of other races, or races.

Yeah. Do you remember that at all with your experience being in Kentucky? Or is it kind of to young for you?

I don't, I think I was too young. But just the stories that my mom would tell. And then there was like another one where someone from the church that they went to, they were like watching me and like I was never a biter as a kid, but apparently, the lady did something and it made me really mad. And so I bit her and the next thing my mom knows that she's getting a tetanus shot, and she's like, dramatic. It's a child. So that's probably probably the only time I've ever experienced racism, or any kind of--I really don't know how to phrase it just like--like, actions of being different than others, if that makes sense.

Yeah, gotcha. That makes sense. Um, could you describe what it was like growing up in Texas for you?

In Texas, Dallas being completely diverse, like I felt like a normal child growing up. Like all my friends knew I was adopted and it was not a big deal. They were just like oh you know, like, Natalie's adopted just like, Oh, my parents are divorced. Like it's just part of life kind of thing. And I think I had like a very normal childhood. We played sports, we watched different movies off of Disney Channel and had birthday parties and you know, all that kind of stuff.

Yeah, was was like, I guess since you said you had, you grew up in a diverse kind of area. Could you talk a little bit about like, the different ethnic groups there or the different kinds of people that you grew up with?

Yeah, um, there were, are there are, I should say, a lot of different cultures such as like and different religions, of course, like we have a Buddhist temple down the street from where I live, there's, like African Americans, we have Hispanics we have like a lot of people from India or even from like the Middle East like Pakistan. We have a lot of Asians from all over the world, like I've met a couple people from Cambodia or from China or from Vietnam. So I, like I went to a high school outside of the Dallas area, so like in the suburbs, and it was very diverse compared to like, people who I've met in college who were like, Oh, no, we only had like, let's say, 10 African Americans or like 10, Hispanics, and it's kind of like, Oh, that was it? So, anyway.

Yeah, growing up, who were kind of the main groups that you would hang out with, or you got to know best. I guess where were your main friend groups based out of?

I was kind of like a shy kid growing up. So I had more like girlfriends than guy friends. But they were like, of all races and of all ages, and just whoever really was, who live near me really is who I befriended.

Did you have like a kind of neighborhood community that you hung out with a lot?

I personally didn't. But when my brother was growing up, he found a lot of friends from the community in our neighborhood that he hung out with a lot. And I had maybe like one friend who actually lived in the neighborhood, or one or two friends. Everyone else I hung out with. It was through church. And so I would just see them in like, our youth group or children's church or whatever age I was in kind of thing.

Yeah, so can you talk about your church experience? So you said that your dad was a music minister or he is a music minister?

Yeah. So he were in the Baptist world things in the Baptist community, and so I grew up Baptist, I would still consider myself as one as well. Um, I was kind of, I didn't realize this until I was probably in high school, but being a child of a staff member on church staff. It was kind of considered like, Oh, I'm a preacher's kid, even though like my dad isn't technically the minister or like the preacher of the church, like, he's still on staff. So I was still seen as like, a preacher's kid, I guess. And I think that has also influenced, like how I came to be today. Just by getting to know a lot of different people and kind of seeing my dad serve everyone in the church as best as he could kind of like led me to wanting to do the same for my community.

What were kind--did you, I mean, I guess since your dad was in the church, did you participate in a lot of like, youth group stuff? And what was that like if you did?

Oh yeah, we've heard a lot of camps, a lot of like, Awana groups, a lot of like church picnics, or like church cookouts, or what else did we do? We've had, like, different nationalities come and use our buildings. And so I attended some of their services, which was really cool. Granted, it was in their language. So I didn't really know what was happening, but it was still cool to see everyone come together. But I think I grew like I had formed a strong relationships with a lot of people within the church, especially with those around my age. And I think that was more my core friends that I saw growing up instead of like, really my school friends. I played softball, so I had those friends as well, but I really don't know why. But those groups of friends didn't really ever intermingle. But it wasn't like I was intentionally trying to keep them separate, if that makes sense. Never mixed, really?

Yeah, how would you say that your church community has kind of impacted the way you view the world or what kind of values you hold today? Do you see any kind of ties with that?

Um, I think a lot of my morals and a lot of my ethics that I hold to my heart definitely come from the church and how I was raised in the community that I was raised in. I think that it also has helped me kind of see like, how much worth that I have. It wasn't until a couple years ago, I started going to counseling because of grad school. It was making me really sad, but um, um, my counselor and I were kind of working through some things like throughout my whole childhood and what, what some of the things that we uncovered was that like, because I am adopted, I had some very deep rooted self esteem or like unworthy kind of feelings. And I think that by being in the church and by, like serving a God who sees us as enough, like, kind of helped me, I guess combat those feelings, if that makes sense. I don't even know. Like, I felt like I was unworthy because or unwanted even. But also knowing that I'm not and that I am wanted, it kind of like, helped me deal with those emotions growing up that I didn't even know I had, if that makes sense.

Yeah, can you talk a little bit more about, I guess, where those feelings of being unwanted stemmed from in relation to your adoption?

So growing up, I never, I thought I was taking my adoption really well, like I knew from the very beginning, I was adopted, and my parents were very open with it. And they weren't, they never tried to hide anything. And I never felt unwanted by any of my friends, or any of my family like it, it was never something that I consciously thought or like, saw when I was growing up. But I guess it's kind of like that, like, deep rooted knowledge of like, well, because I am adopted, that means my biological family didn't want me for whatever reason, of course, you know, like, and I don't, I was in an orphanage, so I have no idea who my like biological parents are. And my mom would tell me, like, you know, when the orphanage is, because there were so many babies, and so many kids, like, it was one of those, they kind of just met our physical needs, like providing shelter, food, clothing, whatever, whatever. But they didn't really meet the emotional or the social needs that people have as they age. And so I think that by not having that emotional connection, at the very beginning of my life, it kind of made my brain go into like an independent mode, like a survivor, like, I don't need anyone kind of thing. And then that kind of transformed as I grew into a wall. I'm going to do whatever I can to show people how they, like try to be perfect in whatever ways so that they would want me without realizing that was what I was doing. Does that make sense? I don't know if I'm making sense.

Yeah, that makes complete sense. I think I've also kind of experienced some of that also being adopted as well. And it's kind of tricky to kind of figure out your identity when it comes to--

Yeah.

I would say like, I've experienced that. It sounds like you have to.

But I was really interesting. When me and my counselor were kind of going through that. And I was like, Well, I didn't realize like, I had those feelings? Because I thought no, it was I was adopted, it was that move on, like, but there were some other subconscious things, I guess to it.

Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Oh sorry, I'm on this table that to say what I keep bumping it and it makes the screen move. I guess the next question is kind of going more into your family background. Could you share I guess your parents process of like, deciding they want to adopt, and then I guess, your adoption story as well?

Um, from what I understand, from, you know, the stories that my parents have told me, they, they weren't able to have their own children. And so they were kind of it was really interesting. So, and I'm going to butcher this story, but my mom was reading a story, kind of like about bibliography and memoir?

Yeah a memoir.

Basically, like a story of a girl who was adopted from China and like, how it affected her life, and basically what we're doing, but like in a book form, she was reading that, I think, and then my dad had I don't know how, but he ended up meeting someone or he ended up reading something about adoption from China. And so both of those things were happening simultaneously. And they had talked about it and they decided that they were going to adopt from China. And so they went through the whole adoption process and from what I understand, it's very, very frustrating at times because you don't get a lot of information or sometimes things don't go through properly and any kind of paperwork really, and then they got word that they were going to get me and then they were all happy. And I think that was in '95. So then that Christmas, so I was born in April, that Christmas they were supposed to get me. But they found out like a week or so before they were supposed to fly out that my paperwork within the Chinese government somehow was misplaced, or it was not filed correctly--something happened. So they had to wait another month. And it wasn't until January of '96. That they came and got me. And of course, they were in the hotel with all the other families who were adopting kids. And they had the translator and they said that there was like, bus after bus of like babies coming out off the bus and whatever. And I was like the last baby on the last bus to come off. And there's like pictures. It's like a whole baby book that we have. And they had us all lined up on a bench, and they were all taking pictures and it was cute. But I like to joke with my family because I was the last one and I was already a month late. But that just foreshadowed how I'm always late. Like, I'm never on time. My friends can attest to this as well. Like, I'm 10 minutes late. And I'm like, Oh, I'm doing great. Like, this is a great time.

Yeah and then could you talk about--you said you have a brother? Do you have any other siblings?

No I just have my one brother, he's four years younger than me and he was adopted from the Marshall Islands. Were not biologically related, either.

Gotcha. How's your relationship with your brother with both of you being adopted?

I would say it's like any other relationship. I mean, we would play together as kids, we always fought, well not always. But you know, we would fight just like any other siblings. We know that we're here for each other, if we need anything, like I can come to him or he can come to me. So I mean, we're both in college. So it's kind of weird, because we don't really get to keep up with each other. But we at least know like when we see each other for like holidays, and such, like, it's a good kind of reunion.

How's your relationship with your parents?

It's good. Um, I consider it just like any other relationship with any other parent kind of thing. Um, I think I'm more of a daddy's girl. But I'm also very open with my mom as well. So it's kind of like, we both have, or both both of my parents, I have a good relationship with each one.

Gotcha. And then, I guess, do you have any kind of family traditions that you all do together?

We did when I was growing up. So my mom had this ceramic plate that had it was red, and it had some kind of words on it. Um, I kind of forgot. But basically, when me and my brother we have what's called a gotcha day is what they call it is like the day that they actually adopted us, like they came and got us were physically with each other. And so on that day, we would always get to choose whatever food we wanted to eat that night, whether it was out or if it was something my mom would make. And we would use that plate and it was kind of like a special tradition for us. But by the time we were like, in high school, we kind of stopped that tradition. But that was always something that we would look forward to, because it was almost like a second birthday for us because we would get like a little gift or something. And my mom would bring out all the papers and all the letters that she had when she found out she was getting me and my brother and she would read them and she would cry. And we were just eating your food like we have that tradition. And then we have our normal like holiday traditions like going to see family, Thanksgiving or for Christmas. We had a tradition with another family every year. For New Years we would all hang out together and just bring in the new year with each other. I guess that's really it. We didn't really do much else.

Yeah, sounds like normal family stuff.

Yeah.

Growing up did your family I guess ever encouraged you to learn more about Chinese culture? Did you ever participate in I guess other Chinese traditions along those lines?

It was kind of one of those things like they kind of left it up to me. They didn't push it. But they also weren't not accepting of it though it was one of those like, they kind of gauged it based off how I was. So if I wanted to learn more they would, they were willing to learn and do everything with it. But I didn't really show any interest in it. And so they kind of didn't really push anything. Um, but like, one year, I think it was for I don't know, maybe like my 15th birthday or something. Like, I had all my friends over and I told my mom, I was like, I want it to be Asian themed, like Chinese themed, I want, you know, the whole zodiac, like the animals with the zodiac signs. And I want like, Asian food, and I want to do like a scavenger hunt but with like Confucius types of like a theme, like, I wanted to go out. And like our party favors were like fortune cookies, and different things like that. And like my mom went all out for and it was pretty cool. We got like little paper lanterns. They were the cheap kind. They weren't, like, big or anything. But we had that. And it was, it was a fun time. And I really enjoyed kind of learning more about my culture a little bit. I mean, it was very basic, but it was still a lot of fun.

How do you view I guess, your connection with your Chinese background? Do you feel like it's like something that is really present in your life or not really present? how you how you see that for yourself?

I kind of see it as a culture that I'm part of, but not part of like, I came from it. And I've accepted it. And I want to know more about it. But at the same time, it's also like, well, even though it's the culture that I came from it's not the culture that I live in. If that makes sense? So like, I have a couple tattoos, where I've kind of geared it more towards, like, the Chinese culture in that sense. But I mean, it's nothing that I'm not willing to learn about. But it's also something that I haven't really invested time into learning about. I've just been really busy with school and stuff, but, but that's one of my things that I want to do before I like on my bucket list kind of thing is to go back to where I'm adopted and just kind of like visit the area and see, like, the actual culture within that province that I'm from. I think that'd be really cool.

If you were to take that trip, would you want to go like by yourself? Or would you want to go with family members? Like what would that look like? On your ideal trip, I guess.

I guess ideally, I would either go with family or I would go with like one of my best friends. Like definitely have someone there with me to like, experience it. But I guess like, even if money was no object, like have everyone that I know, come and come with me, you know, like, have as many family members as I can and have as many friends as I can. I think that'd be really cool.

Um, and if this is super personal, like don't do it, but I was wondering if you could share like, your tattoos or--it just sounds really intriguing to me.

So my first had to I had a I have a pink magnolia with the Chinese characters "a blessing" and I met a guy in college who spoke Mandarin so I ran it by him to make sure that Google did not lie to me. And he, he checked it, but um, from what I found on the internet, the magnolia is kind of like the the symbol of like beauty. And my Chinese name means Chinese flower. My mom would add beautiful to it, but I think that's just her. So she would tell me Oh, you means beautiful Chinese flower. I think it just means Chinese flower, nonetheless. So that's why I got that one. And I was originally going to get white. But with my darker skin tone, I didn't think it would show up very nicely. So I did pink and I think that had some type of meaning to that as well. That I kind of forgot. Then my next one I have like a fan with like some cherry blossoms on it. And I know that's not necessarily like Chinese that's more like Japanese but like I don't know what I am necessarily like I know I'm from China, but I could be part Japanese. I could be part Cambodian I can be part Vietnamese like I have no idea. And so I was kind of just thinking of incorporating any and all Asian types of cultures and my tattoos. And then my last one I have on my ribs and it says made in China because my mom said that when I was little and not like little enough to fit in the cart like that seat. We would be, you know, walking through whatever store we're in. And she'd be picking up objects in, you know, the little sticker that says, Oh made in China. And she would be like, Oh, this is made in China just like you like she was very open about it. It was a cute thing. And so that kind of was like my way of honoring that with her.

Gotcha. And what was your? I this might be kind of hard to pronounce, but could you share what your Chinese name was?

So from what they have told me, it's Fu Mei Hua. So, and they, my parents had said that they put the last name first. And then it's like, last name, first name, middle name kind of thing. So if you were to flip it into, like, more than an American type of flow, it'd be like Mei Hua Fu. But I've only had one or two people in my life who called me Mei, instead of Natalie, which I mean, is fine. It doesn't bother me, but I don't tell that to a lot of people. I don't know why it just--just doesn't come up. Really.

Gotcha. Um, and I guess I kind of want to move into more about your school experience. So I guess you can share, could you share I guess about I don't know if you if you're in elementary school, I guess parts of that or talk a little bit about what your early school years were like and what school you went to?

I, oh elementary school was a long time ago. Um, well, I okay. So I live in the suburbs of Dallas. And I went to the Wylie ISD district. And, um, from what I remember, in elementary school, like I said, I was a really shy kid. So I mean, like, of course, I made friends within the class. But when it came to talking to the teacher, it was like, No, it's okay. I'll just figure it out. Like, I'm not going to ask questions. I'm not going, I'm not going to talk. And it wasn't until probably fifth grade, maybe even sixth grade that I actually started talking to the teachers and talking in class. But there were a lot of times where like, I would tell my friends throughout whatever age I was, I'd be like, Oh, yeah, you know, I'm adopted from China, whatever, whatever. And they'd be like, Oh, that's so cool. And then they, you know, they would see my parents or whatever. And then I would, if conversation was to go that way. And I mentioned it again. They'd be like, Oh, yeah, I forgot, like, so I think. Like, that wasn't something that my friends really harped on, and I really appreciated that. But it's also kind of one of those like, I'm not going to harp on, oh, well, your parents are divorced. So that's like your, like, signature or your, what's the word? Identity. Like, that's not your identity. Right? And so I really appreciated that growing up. I was never really bullied. Really, everyone. I mean, I didn't talk so it was nothing to bully about. In high school. I mean, it was high school. I personally didn't like high school as much as I did my college years. But I had a lot of good friends. A lot of close friends. Um, yeah, that's, there's nothing really exciting.

Did you have any hobbies or extracurricular activities that you enjoyed doing while you were, I guess, either growing up or in high school?

Oh, yeah. Okay. Um, yes, I played softball for 12 years, not competitively. It was all recreational. But my mom really wanted to make sure me my brother found some type of like activity to do. So my brother ended up doing. He played a little bit of T-ball and basketball and he eventually landed on football. And then I did like a year of gymnastics, and I was horrible at it, and I didn't like it. So we didn't do that. And then we moved on to softball, and I really enjoyed that. And so I played from like, kindergarten all the way to, I guess, my junior senior year of high school. I played volleyball for a year when I was in middle school, and that was, it was fun, but I felt like it kind of came in a little too late. So I wasn't very good. And I knew I wasn't, I didn't want to do high school level. So I did that for like a semester. My mom tried to get me to play soccer because I wanted to after the first practice, I was like, No, this is not my sport. Yeah, and then, like in high school, I was in choir because I needed an elective. But it is better than band or like our or anything else. I'm just wasn't into any of that. And plus my dad, with him being a music minister, like he sings a lot and so it just kind of felt like it, like a normal fit to do that route. Um, yeah, that's about it. I didn't do anything else?

Did you ever do like any singing or anything at church? Or was it mainly just at school?

No, no, I was too nervous to die for that. Like, at school, I at least had like a bunch of other people with me. And so I kind of was able to blend in a little bit. My dad tried to get me to sing a couple songs every once in a while in church, but I was just like, No, no, okay, no. But yeah.

Do you still feel like you are as shy as you used to be? Or do you feel like that kind of changed over time?

I think it's changed over time. I remember when I was, especially in elementary school, it was one of those, like, I'll talk to you, but I'm really shy. And so it's like that awkward, like shyness. And now I'm just like, well, if we talk, we talk and like, I'll start a conversation. If it goes nowhere, then it goes nowhere, like, more fluid, I guess you could say. When I'm in groups, I'm definitely more shy. I'm not very outspoken. But I'm also present. So I may not be talking, but I'm nodding my head, I'm making eye contact, you know, like, I'm not just like awkwardly sitting there watching people. I would have to say, like, I have a friend who, she lives in Louisiana now. But when she lived in Texas, I would consider her the friend that kind of brought me out of my shell and got me to be a little more loud and a little more assertive. And from there, I just kind of kept going.

Was she from high school, or was she from college? Or none of those?

Um, she was actually my middle school friends.

Oh okay.

Her family. So her family was affected by Katrina, when that hurricane hit, when they had moved to our area to be with family. And so we were friends for a couple years. And then they ended up moving back to Louisiana after everything was kind of rebuilt, resettled all that stuff. And so during that time, we got to kind of know each other, and me and her kind of similar in the sense of like, we're both kind of quiet, but she's a lot more outspoken than I was just kind of helped me kind of come out of that show a little bit.

Yeah, what would you do when you hung out? Would you like explore places? Or would you? I don't know, I just kind of what kind of stuff did you guys like to do?

I hated nature. I, other than softball practice where I had to be outside, I was not, not into the whole hiking that. But it was also because we have a lot of bugs and a lot of mosquitoes and I don't like either of them. And so I think if it was like a little drier, or like less bugs, so like higher altitude, I guess, like I think I would enjoy it a little bit more. But we would play like, on our scooters, I guess outside we had those razor scooters that like would cut you if you like, twisted it too fast. You know, it had like the two wheels. And like if you spun it, and it hits you like you're debilitated for like, 30 minutes.

Yeah, it would hit your shin and you-- (audio cuts out)

Yes, we would play with that. Or I had like a, like a swing set outside in the backyard, we would do that. Or we had a trampoline. So like, I would be okay with being outside is was more just like, exploring was not a thing for me. Oh, it says this participant is having issues with their bandwidth. What does that mean?

Oh, it just means that my Wi Fi might be stalling a little bit but it shouldn't be a problem. If like, something happens where I completely cut out, then I'll just refresh. It should stay. So just like stay on the line and it should be okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Cool. Just want to make sure.

Yeah, thank you.

Um, let's what else? We did a lot of in high school, I ate out a lot with friends like we would go to Whataburger or Sonic, those, or Chili's, those three. I had my fill for the four years I was in high school. We would, we would go shopping, or we would just hang out around the house, watch TV, or when we were younger, you know play with Barbie dolls or with Polly Pockets or with baby dolls. Whenever we played school a lot.

It's my dog, she just opened the door, I'm sorry.

You're good. At the very beginning, my dog kept butting his head against my door trying to open it. So.

Yeah, my dog will, she doesn't like being left out. And so on this door, she'll just head butt it. And it's like the lock isn't. I don't know. It's like kind of messed up. And I forgot to make sure it's like completely locked and so she just head-butt her way in, but I think she'll be okay.

She's like I'm going to be in here.

Yeah, here actually, I'll probably take her out for a moment. So she doesn't bark at something. I'll be right back [door closes]. Sorry about that.

No you're good.

I'm sorry about that, but continue what you're saying?

Uh, yeah, I mean, that's really all we did. We played a lot of school. I remember that. Between me and my friends or like me, my brother. A lot of school. Um, which is funny, because we would be done with school and then we wanted to play it never made sense. But, um, we would paint or do like arts and crafts every once in a while. Um, that's about it. kind of boring. I'm sorry.

No, that's totally fine. It sounds like you had a good childhood though.

Yeah, it was a lot of fun.

And then, I guess so after high school. What college did you go to?

Went to Abilene Christian University out in Abilene, Texas. When I was applying to colleges, I didn't even know Abilene existed. I just thought it was in Kansas. But they sent me an email. And that was like, hey, come check us out like. Well, you know, our campus is beautiful. We have great staff, whatever, whatever. And I was like, sure. And we went out there. And I was like, this is really nice. It was a beautiful campus. And I liked that it was kind of a private school. I told my parents that because I went from a, I was in a public school for so long, I kind of wanted to try out the private school just to see like, if there's a difference or not, and so I ended up going there. And I made a lot of really good friendships, a lot of I guess, long distance, long lasting friendships. I'm currently in my clinical rotations for school. And one of the family that I befriended when I was out there is letting me stay with them for my clinicals. And so I just so happened I had two clinicals back to back both in Abilene and so they're letting me stay with them for the four months I'm there. And I'm like, thank you so much. But and then I have one friend who moved up to Philadelphia to go to school up there and me and another friend are going to go visit her in June. So friends from ACU I definitely keep in touch with. I only keep in touch with like a couple friends from high school. And then the friends that I met in graduate school, I obviously keep up with them as well.

Where did you--were there any certain groups where you met those friends or was it in classes?

I think it was in classes because I wasn't. Yeah, when I was at ACU I didn't join any kind of groups or anything. We had to do what's called Chapel and so basically, for us, it was Monday through Friday. And it was like from 11 to like 11:30 or so maybe 11 to noon even. No, I think it was 11 to 11:30. Anyway, um there were different ways to do Chapel like different groups that met and so throughout those groups, I would kind of go with friends and meet new friends through there. Or mostly I would meet at it within class. Or I even worked at a daycare when I was at ACU and I met a lot of good people there. And so it kind of just kind of met people wherever.

And then I guess could you talk a little bit more about your college experience? Did you enjoy it? Or was it--were there challenging parts of it? What was that like for you after high school?

Yeah, no, I remember my first semester of college, the coolest thing I've ever thought was, when you're done with a test, you can literally leave. Because I'm, I'm a fast test taker, because I go through the questions, and I either know it or I don't, and I keep moving. And I don't really look over the test either, because I tend to double guess myself. Anyway, in high school, when that happened, I would have to sit there the whole class period, and it was boring. And I was like, Oh, my gosh, all these people are taking so long. But when I moved out to Abilene and start doing those tests, I was like, wow, like, I get to go, and then I'm free for the rest of the day. So I enjoyed the freedom that came with going to college. Um, I enjoyed all the people that I met. And I learned really good lessons and relationships, whether that was a romantic or a friend relationship, I learned a lot of lessons that I'm using nowadays, in my other relationships, I guess you could say. I really liked all the professors, they were very nice. Some of them are harder than others, of course. But ACU was very much a community oriented school, and I really enjoyed the community that I felt there. Um, they always had Sing Song, which is where all of these social groups would get together, and they would put on a performance and it had like a theme every year. And so they would perform and they would dress up, and then you get to vote for whichever social group was the best or was the most dressed up or had the best sound and different things like that. And that was really cool. Um, I worked a part time job at the daycare that I mentioned, that definitely kept me busy, because she would have students like the the boss, director, the director, she would have students come in in the mornings to open from like 7 to like 8:30, 9 o'clock. And then she would have students come in the afternoon, for the afternoon session from 3 to like, 5:30. Sometimes I would work both I would open and then I'll go to class, both through my day, and then I would come back in the afternoon and work. And then I would have to, when I get off, I would go eat dinner. And then I would go straight into studying until like, 10:30 or 11 o'clock at night. Um, I think my senior year, that was when the classes were a little more challenging. And so doing those shifts were a little challenging, but I always kind of thought of it as like, Well, you know, physical therapy school is going to be just as busy, you're going to be going just as hard. So this is just prepping you for when you get there. But she was also the doctor was very flexible, and was very, like, willing to work with us with our schedule. And so that really helped as well.

Yeah, what do you think? Are there anything you kind of think that you learned about yourself or about, I guess, things in general from that part time job?

Um, I think what, like, what I had learned about myself is that I'm more resilient than I thought I was. Because going from, you know, seven in the morning to really 6:30 because I wake up and get ready, but till like, 10:30 at night, that's what like a 16 hour day, five days a week, like it was, it was a lot. But, um, I think I learned that I, when I have my mind on something, like, I'm going to do it. And it may be through a season where I'm just tired. And I feel like I can't, but at the end of the day, like, I know that I'm going to make it through and we're going to make it through and it's going to be fine. And we're going to do the best we can, it may not be what, you know, you wanted to happen, but we got it done. And you did it to the best of your ability. And so I think that has really helped me kind of transition into physical therapy school learning, you know, I'm doing the best we can the best I can. And especially during COVID we were still learning new, new material. And so having to roll with the punches with that just being flexible. And so I think there was like a lot of lessons that I learned and a lot of things that I learned about myself through that time. For sure.

And then I think the next question I want to ask is about your decision to go into physical therapy. Where do you see that first kind of coming into fruition for you?

When I was--it was in 2003. So I think either I was finishing up third grade, or I was in fourth grade, one of the two, or even secondary, I don't know, I was in elementary school 2003. And my mom had a knee replacement, because when she was in college, she had a experimental knee, knee surgery. And long story short, it had caused her to need a knee replacement at like a pretty early age. And so she had home health therapy, so a therapist would come at the house and work with her for like, I don't know, maybe an hour or so. And I remember being able to watch kind of from afar and see how much she was not doing with us to how much she was able to do with us. And I really liked to watch that transition. And I kind of was starting to think like, that's something that I want to do, like, I want to help someone not be able to do something and then do something, you know. And then in middle school, I think my dad also had like, a knee surgery where he needed physical therapy for a little bit. And I kind of saw him also go from not being able to do much with us to being able to do everything with us. And between my time from ACU to Texas Tech, I worked for a pediatric physical therapy, or I guess it was a pediatric clinic, I had physical therapy, occupational therapy, and speech therapy and seeing the therapists work with the kids to do simple activities that we take for granted such as like writing, for the occupational therapy or for speech, learning how to eat and swallow food or like to make certain sounds like for me growing up, I would mix my arms and my legs and my arms would sound like W's. And it was kind of a hot mess. But, you know, teaching kids how to make the proper sounds, or even physical therapists working on their balance, or just being able to sit up so that they can play with their brothers and sisters at home. Like, I just really liked that kind of like to solidify that I wanted to do physical therapy, I wanted to be that person who helped someone have more functions so that they're able to do more with their friends and their family.

And then so you're currently in graduate school for physical therapy? And where was that again?

Texas Tech University.

Okay, cool. And what year are you in that?

I am a third year. The first two years you do a lot of your didactic work, a lot of classroom work. And then your third year, you get to go on clinical rotations for the whole year. So I have two this fall, and then two in the summer, I'll go back to Lubbock, and do what's called a graduate seminar week. Not really sure what that entails. But then after that, I get to graduate and then I'll take my boards in July, and then I am done with school. I'm so excited.

Oh, what do you I guess? What do you hope to do once you graduate with your physical therapy degree? I guess you want to practice but do you have any concrete ideas of what you want that to look like in the future?

I am right now leaning kind of towards working with the pediatric population. I really enjoyed my time when I was a tech at that clinic. But I'm in an outpatient setting right now. And I really enjoy getting to see like different issues such as like a knee replacement or low back pain, or just seeing how specific a diagnosis can be and seeing how broad it can be and just trying to figure out how to best help this patient. I kind of like that because it's almost like a, like a puzzle that you're trying to fit together and you're trying to figure out, Okay, well how can I best help this patient? So I really like that. I was not--I mean, I liked the acute setting, which was like being in the hospital, for those who have had surgeries or for those who have had any kind of illnesses. We were there for a couple nights. I really liked that one, but at the same time, not as much as I like the outpatient. so I don't know, it's kind of up in the air right now.

Yeah. I don't know if this will kind of like run into some HIPPA violations. But are there any like moments that you could share from like, your experience? That your really enjoyed or that were super challenging?

Yeah, I mean, as long as I don't think any specifying things.

Okay.

But um, I really enjoy. I've only been in the outpatient for one week. And so, um, so far the patients I've seen, like we've had like a low back patient, which he just had low back pain, and getting to work on like my manual massage skills and my soft tissue work. That was kind of fun, because we didn't really focus that too much in our labs. And then also kind of like learning the joint mobilizations I can do on a spine or on a shoulder, or whatever joint that I'm working on, to better help that patient gain more range. It's been really interesting, and fun to learn. I think the most frustrating for me was when I was in acute care, like within the hospital, and having to deal with all the lines and all the wires. So like all the IVs all the oxygen, that was kind of frustrating, because I'd have to pull it all out and put it all back and have to figure out okay, how do I manage all this while also holding on to my patient who can barely walk, like 50 feet, you know? There's also a little frustrating because I had a few patients when I was in acute care that would, you know, look at me up and down. And it's like, wow, you're a little one because I'm five foot tall. So I'm not average height by any means. And you had patients who were like 5' 10" and above, and they're thinking like, What is this little girl going to do for me? So kind of already having a patient think that I'm not able to help them was a little frustrating. But I mean, it comes with the height, it comes with the job. Feel like it's not going to be the last time I'll hear that.

Where are you hoping to practice? Do you want to stay in Texas? Or would you want to travel or what's that look like?

I thought about staying in Texas. I was kind of playing with the idea in my mind on doing travel physical therapy. I think that'd be really cool to kind of travel around, because I think it's not just in Texas. But I guess it also depends on like, the company that you work for, but just being able to like kind of move around and only stay for a couple months at a time or even a couple weeks and just get to see different places and work with different people. Um, but as of right now I'm thinking of working in Texas.

Gotcha. Camera went out, and I apologize for that. But it's okay, we can keep going. I don't know why it did that. I think it's just my computer just kind of--

No worries.

Um, but if you can hear me okay. I think we'll be all right. Okay, great. Um, I guess coming off the traveling also did you and your family travel a lot growing up or did you mainly stay like in town for vacations?

We traveled a lot. We went to Florida a couple times to go to like Disney World. We went to Arkansas where the guests like the Springs, Arkansas spring. Something like that. We went to Arkansas a couple times. We went to like the Gulf shore in Alabama. We went to Colorado. We went to North Carolina. We went to, where else did we go? We went to like Louisiana. A couple times. We went to the Bahamas once. That was my high school graduation trip. That was a lot of fun. Um, but yeah, we stayed mostly in the south kind of areas. Yeah, I think that was it because my parents went on a couple other trips, but that was just them too. And then me and my brother stayed behind with family.

Did you have any like memorable experiences that you'd want to share about your time traveling around or is it kind of just family vacation?

It was mostly just family vacation. I do remember when my so I was four-ish, or maybe three to four when my brother was adopted and so my parents, I don't remember how long they were gone. But they had left to go get him from Marshall Islands. And during that time, I was kind of being bounced back and forth between my aunt my uncle and like, my childhood best friend at the time with her family. And I remember kind of being a little bit homesick with that, but you know, back then they didn't really have any cell phones, I don't think because that would have been early 2000s or '99 actually. It was '99. So that was an interesting--so for me that was like traveling back and forth between families and friends. And it was a little rough for like a four year old because I think they were gone for like a week or something. But um I think my favorite trip was when we went to the Bahamas because we left from I think somewhere No, we I think we left from Galveston. And then we went to the Key West down in Florida, and then we went to the Bahamas and kind of like looped back around. That was a lot of fun. We got to ring in the new year because we did like a post-Christmas cruise. I guess that was it was like we left on Christmas Day. And then we got back like one or two days after the new year. That was a lot of fun.

Did you ever do any travel internationally?

Um, if you want to consider the Bahamas is international then yes. But as far as any other country? No, not since I was adopted. I want to if I don't go back to China, at least go to the European countries. I think that'd be really cool. And travel around there. But no we stayed mostly in the States.

Since you were so involved in the church, did you ever do any like mission oriented kind of trips?

Our church didn't really do the international trips. Well, we definitely did like trips down to Port Arthur, Texas. We did that for probably four or five years straight, like back to back. And that was really cool to kind of build relationships with the people down there. We worked like in I think their food kitchen and we served the homeless. We did a VBS for a group of apartments that were kind of in the projects area of Port Arthur. We also got to feed them dinner, which was really cool. And what else did we do? I think that was really it? But um, that was really fun. We did one VBS out in Colorado at the Air Force Base out there. Yes, yes, the Air Force Base. It was a beautiful area. And we got to help with that. And then we also got to kind of travel around Colorado a little bit. We did like Pikes Peak. And whitewater rafting, that was a lot of fun. Everywhere else we've done for missions, it's really been kind of like in the area like in the Dallas area. We've made bags for the homeless and we've taken them out to like downtown Dallas, and kind of handed them out we've done, what's it called? Kind of started like a little service. For those who don't really have a church home, like in an area where there's not a lot of churches, I think it's like called Church Under the Tree, or something like that. We've done that. We've gone down to Orange, Texas, I believe. And we've helped do kinda like a, what did they call it? It's the humanities name, the home for humanities? You know what I'm talking about?

Habitat for humanity?

It was something very similar to that where we came in and we helped rebuild a couple of homes that were destroyed from it could have been hurricanes, but it could have been tropical storms as well. Nonetheless, we went down there for a few years as well, I think four or five as well. Um and so our church does a lot of that kind of thing.

Yeah. Do you have any, favorite memories from one of those trips or like a story that it's been like really impactful for you from doing those?

I think the most memories that I have, were from the Port Arthur mission trips. And it was more so because of the fellowship that we had as a church community. I mean, the VBS was a lot of fun. We, like pitched a bunch of like little, they're not tents, like the little covers, you know what I'm talking about? Like they have like, it's like a tent. But it's not it's like open on the sides, but then it has like a little.

Yeah, it's like a kind of a canopy. Yeah. I can't remember what it's called either.

Okay. And, like, each one was like a different station. So you have like, one with music one with like arts and crafts, one, you know, different things like that, for all the VBS stuff. And, um, we, that was a lot of fun to kind of meet everybody and kind of teach the kids like different Bible verses, and there was one year where like, the tent next to us, or the canopy next to us, they were yelling out, buy Bible verses really loud. And it was run by one of my good friends. And I'm kind of competitive. And so I told my group, I was like, Let's beat them, let's be louder than them. And so we said a different verse that we were learning, and it kind of turned into like a, a competition on who could be louder. And that was, that was a lot of fun to watch. Because the kids were getting into it, and like, they were getting competitive. And that was a lot of fun. Um, but then like, after we were done, we would set up like a food tray, like a food line almost. And like we served them like spaghetti and sandwiches and got to kind of talk with the different people out there and kind of fellowship with them. And then we would pack up and we would go back to where we were staying. And it was kind of like a redone nursing home, that they had turned into housing for those who were visiting family members who are in the prison out there. And so we we had our own little wing, and we would like pull pranks on each other. And like, there was one time like the boys would prank each other all the time. And that was a lot of fun to watch. Like, one of them tried to saran wrap the toilet and one of the guys fell for it and made a mess everywhere. That was hilarious. One of the guys tried to get them back in, while he was in the shower, took a big ol bucket of cold water and like, sneak snuck in there and like poured it on him and you could hear like, the guy scream and it was really funny. But it was just kind of like that kind of fellowship. Like we would just play cards and we would talk about our day and talk about like, what we're going to do the next day and just being with each other. Really, it was a lot of fun. And that's what I remember the most. Yeah.

What age were you during this or age range?

I was probably eight to like 10th grade I think is when I went because I didn't go for a couple of those years that we went. Um, but I think I went from like eighth to 10th grade. Yes.

Gotcha. Yeah it sounds like your youth got into a lot of shenanigans.

We were a mess.

Did you participate in any like Bible study kind of things growing up or with your youth group?

It was mostly just our typical like Sunday Bible study Wednesday Bible study. When I graduated, the new youth minister that came in, they were doing more of like the--well, maybe they weren't from what I remember, they were wanting to do more of like the individual Bible study. So like, if you wanted to join like a certain topic or a certain like, book that they were going through, you could but it wasn't like mandatory or anything and it wasn't--and it was different than what they did Wednesday and Sunday nights, or Sunday mornings. Um but no, I did mostly just Wednesday and Sunday night or Sunday mornings and then Wednesday night. Pardon me.

Gotcha. [Car horn in background] And then another question I have is--No you're good. Um, how do you view your faith currently or your relationship with the church currently?

Kind of a very broad question. So I'm going to answer it the best I can. And let me know if this is where you were headed with it or not. I would say that right now, I'm kind of, I mean, granted with COVID and everything. I'm not super, super involved in the church. As of right now, I still go on Sunday mornings, with the family that I'm staying without Abilene. But, um, obviously, I'm not going to church in Dallas, because I'm not there. But, um, I feel like, right now, I'm kind of at a point in my life, where I still have a relationship with God, and I still no want to pursue him. And I still want to do things that glorify him. But on the flip side of that, it's kind of like I want, I'm taking a break from the church. If that makes sense, like doing the different classes and doing the different service projects, it's kind of like, when I was growing up within the church, you know, I was in everything, I was always there. I mean, we were easily up at church, two to three times a week. And, you know, from doing that, when you're the age of, I guess, like two, 18 months to two years old, all the way to like 12th grade. I mean, that's easily what, like 18, 19 years of like, going to church every week, a couple times a week like that, that was a lot. And so, um, so yeah, I'm kind of at the point where I'm taking a break from the church, but I'm not taking a break from God, if that makes sense.

Yeah, that makes sense. Um, I guess like, once some of the pandemic stuff lifts up, and I guess, things maybe you return to like a place where you can like, go do stuff in person, I guess, what's your hopes for the future as far as your relationship with like going to church, and that kind of stuff?

I think once the pandemic, very much, though, kind of dissolves, and we get it all figured out, or as best as we can get it figured out. And then you know, I find a church home, may that be the one that my parents go to, or may it be one that is different from theirs, I do want to get involved again, aside from my job, I've thought about going to the North Texas Food Bank, or even any food bank, depending on the area I'm in, and just like serving some time there and like helping out as best as I can, or even doing like, like looking for a clinic who does pro bono services, and maybe spending some time there. If I haven't found a church, or you know, even if I did find a church, like trying to figure out how to best serve within that church, like whether that be, you know, helping with the children's ministry, or if that means, you know, helping via sub as a teacher and just like, kind of facilitate Bible discussion, or if it's like, opening up my home, so that like, the times where--it's called Discipleship Now weekends is with our youth does every once in a while, it's like, think, once or twice a year. I think it's once a year. But they go to host homes. And so, you know, I could be a host home for a group, I would do that kind of being involved in any way that I can. I hope to do that again, especially once the pandemic is over. But yeah.

That all makes a lot of sense.

But yeah, that's what I'm hoping to do.

Gotcha. Um, let's see. I have like a list of questions here. So I'm trying to make sure I covered everything.

If I didn't (audio cuts out) the best way like, let me know. And I can try to re answer that too.

No, no, I think, no, I think you. I mean, it all makes sense to me of what you were saying about. It's just since the church and faith has been such a big part of your life. I was just kind of curious to see how that has either kind of changed or I guess how it kind of changed as you've growing up or if it has changed at all. Okay. Growing up, um, I guess he said you've had kind of an interest in potentially learning more about like Chinese culture, Asian culture. What do you think that, like, looks like for you now? Is that changed since you were like younger? Or do you still feel like you're kind of at like peace with how your relationship with like this Chinese part of culture versus like your American culture?

Yeah, I think I'm more at peace with it. Um, I think it's going to, as I get older, and as I get more free time, hopefully, I'll do more. It'll be more of like research based off of something that I see or something that I hear. It won't be just like me wanting to research to research, I think it's going to be something where something is going to trigger my brain and be like, oh, like, let me look more into that. Or let me look and see how the Chinese culture is different in that aspect, or, you know, whatever. Um, of course, I know, Google is Google. And sometimes information is not as accurate as if you actually were in the culture. But considering I live in America, I think Google is pretty good right now. Or even if I'm able to find people who still practice that culture that I'm from, like, I think that would be also kind of fun to get to talk to them a little bit about or kind of learn from them kind of a first hand experience. But I think right now, it's kind of one of those like, I'm just, it is what it is. And I'm at peace with it, I guess.

Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Um, and then, let's see, have you? I guess is your brother is also adopted, have you ever? Did you guys ever really talk about like, being adopted with each other? Or is that just kind of something that is just a fact for you?

For me, it's just kind of a fact, like, when he was adopted, you know, obviously, we were at the airport waiting for him. And then, you know, when I was adopted, I watched the home videos, and I was from an airplane as well. And so for a little bit when I was really, really little, like, you know, 3, 4, 5 age, you know, I thought babies came from airports, because, you know, I came from an airport in an airplane, like my brother came from an airplane, it made sense to me, but I quickly learned that that's not how babies come. As far as like the adoption itself. I think my brother had a little more hard time reconciling that. Um, I don't know if I have any siblings, and I don't know who my my biological family is. But my brother, he had his, like, my parents got him from his biological family. So they were able to meet everybody like all of his brothers and sisters, his mom and dad, his grandma, like, of course, there was a translator there, but my mom told me a story that, you know, when my brother was probably in young elementary school aged, someone told him like, you're not really part of your family, because you're adopted or like, was just being a jerk, really. And my mom remembers me kind of overhearing as I'm like, walking by and me just saying, Well, we're adopted. He's not, it is what it is like, you can't change it, and just being very matter of matter of fact. And so I guess it was just it's like part of who our family is. I guess it's like part of our story.

Do you think that--has being adopted? Do you feel as it like changed the way you view family or community at all? Or do you think it's kind of about the same as like other people that you've encountered?

I think it's changed my thoughts more so on like, what makes up a family, if that makes sense? Like you don't have to be biological, biologically linked to be a family like you can be. As long as you have like a close relationship with people I think you can consider them family like for example, my friend Louisiana, like I consider her my sister. And we are by no means related either through family or anything, you know, but I consider her family whereas obviously, my adopted parents and my brother like I consider them family, like I consider them my mom and my dad, not my adopted mom and my adopted dad, like, they're just my mom and dad. But then I also have friends who have their own kids, who are, you know, obviously a little older than I am. And I consider them mom and dad, like, I don't consider them my friends with kids. I'm like, Oh, that's family. Like, they're, they take part in how--they influenced me just as much as I influenced them. Like, we're just family like, I, it's kind of hard for me to explain. But I guess like, to wrap it up in a bow is like family can be anything that you want it to be, as long as you have that relationship with the people that you care most about.

Yeah, I guess another way, maybe to differentiate I was wondering was, I guess, how do you view like, is there a difference between like friendships and family for you? Or the friends that you consider family? Is there something like that's a little bit different in those relationships for you? Like, I guess, the friends that you consider friends versus the friends you consider family?

Okay, yes, I'm there, I'm sorry. Um, I think the ones that I consider family are the ones who we give each other the same amount of, like, what's the word (pause) we give the same amount of, I don't want to pay attention. But like, I guess, the same amount of love or the same amount of maybe the word will come back to me, but I'll give you an example. So I have friends who I won't see you for many years and are able to catch up. And, you know, I still consider them close friends, but I may not consider them as family. Whereas I have friends who we talk almost on a regular basis. And they know me, and they know, you know, they've seen the worst side of me, they've seen the best side of me. And yet, they still want to hang around. And I consider them family. The friends who I may not have seen for a couple years, sure, like, you know, they've seen the good sides and the bad sides and the ups and downs that I may have had, but the word is still escaping me. But it's like, the closest word I can think of is like how much input or like (pause) I guess how much time they put into me, and how much time I put into them, it's more equal. So you know, like, if I'm reaching out to those who I consider family, and I know that they're going to be there for me at whatever time with whatever I need, or at least have resources that may help me. And it's like, a two way street, like I'm there for them as well. And if they need anything, but I can't like I can't help them, then I'll find resources that can help them. And so like, the amount of, again, the best word I can come up with is input like, it's kind of it's equal. Whereas if I'm not, if that input for my friends who I consider friends, if that's not met, then I don't consider that as family. I don't know if I'm making any sense, because I'm the word is escaping me.

Yeah, I think that make sense. Is it like kind of a reciprocal relationship?

Yes. Like the amount of time and energy I'm putting into somebody, I want it to be given back. And when it's not, I mean, I'll still consider you a friend, obviously. But at that point, it's not like I don't consider you family is the best way I can kind of put into words what I'm thinking.

Okay, I think he just froze for a minute. So could you I'm sorry, could you repeat what you just said?

Yeah, um, I think this is the best I could kind of put into words, how I'm thinking, um, it's just that reciprocal amount of time and energy, I guess it's like kind of like you were saying, because I'm also the type of person and I've kind of grown into this where, like, I'm not here for games. Like, I want to be up front kind of thing? Like, what are we doing? Where are we going? Like, I don't want someone in my life who is only going to be there for a season and then get what they need. And then they like ghost me, you know, I'm saying? Like, that's not a friendship. So, anyway,

Yeah, that all makes a lot of sense. Um, another question I want to ask was, did you have any people that you considered to be like your mentors or people you'd often go to for advice as this can be either as you were growing up, or it could be currently. I guess are there any specific people that you feel like kind of fit that type of role for you.

You kind of paused in between the question, so I'm going to restate it. [Lost audio connection over TheirStory] Are you there?

I can hear you now. Sorry. You like, for some reason, I just sent you an email also. So ignore that. But for some reason, your sound just completely cut off. I can hear you now though.

I clicked reconnect. And now the timer had started over. So I hope you didn't lose everything.

I think it'll be okay. We'll just I think it kind of is supposed to match up again, after all this. So it's probably okay. I wouldn't worry about it too much.

Well, if not like I can redo this. It's not a problem.

Okay. It's like running fine on my end. Okay. I think it'll be all right. But if I find, like, if I look back, it's kind of messed up, then we can, I might contact you again.

Yeah, we can just do, different sections or whatever.

Okay. Um, okay. Don't worry. Just repeat the question that I said?

Yes, please.

Okay, I think was asking was if there are any people who you consider to be like your mentors, either growing up or currently?

Um, yes, I'm trying to think of some people. There's been like a couple people in the church that I consider, like my mentor, like, I've gone to them many times with just like frustrations in life or really, with anything, and I'm able to talk to them. There's been, there was one professor that I like, felt like I had a good relationship with I had to take his class. Well, he taught a lot of different classes. But he ended up being my professor for three different courses he taught and so we kind of got to know each other a little bit through that. And, you know, I asked him for, like, relationship advice, because me and my boyfriend at the time, were just like, not on the same page. And so I was just like, I'd kind of come to the conclusion of like, we either need to change something or like, do something different otherwise is not going to work. And so I called him about it. I would consider a lot of my professors in the Texas Tech program in the physical therapy program, a lot of my mentors. They've really helped with everything, physical therapy, and just life related. Um, so yeah, it's kind of like they've kind of changed like, the mentors that I have changed as I've aged, like some I don't really talk to nowadays just because we haven't really connected and they've been going through some stuff. I've been going through my stuff and but yeah.

Yeah, that all makes sense. Um, I guess we talk to you about your relationship with your boyfriend just kind of made me wonder how that have had the adoption ever come up as like a point of discussion with you and your relationships, or has it been kind of just like, it's just kind of a thing that is.

With my first boyfriend, it was never, it was just part of who it was, it was part of our family, it was part of my story. So that we never had an issue with that. With the one where I had called my professor about it, it wasn't necessarily an issue of my adoption. But, you know, when I had mentioned earlier about the insecurities and like the unworthy feelings that I had deep down that I didn't realize that I had that relationship definitely kind of brought them to life. And not that it was toxic, but it was just not a good relationship for me, if that makes sense. Like there was, he wasn't a bad guy, like he's a good guy. It just, it didn't, we didn't match very well. And I kept trying to make it match. And so, um, but yeah, it wasn't like, the adoption itself was, like an issue or anything, it was just those feelings that I had. I didn't know that I had about it that stemmed from my adoption.

Yeah, makes sense. Thank you for sharing. I know it was kind of personal. But I was just curious.

No yeah.

Um, okay. So I think, let's see. So another question I had, was, I guess the Black Lives Matter protests occurring over the summer? I was wondering if that has that affect your understanding of race? So you're like, I guess, did it--how did you view those, that moment within, like, that happened, and if it like, changed anything for you about how you view, like race in the United States, or, I guess your general perceptions of it?

So when I was in high school, I had to do some essays for like, different scholarships, or whatever, for college. And, um, I don't remember what question it was. But basically, it was just asking about like, majority versus minority type of thing. And up until that high school, I felt like I was part of the majority, even though I was clearly not white in any way. Just living in an American culture and living with a family who is predominantly white, I didn't really see race. It was kind of like, Oh, I'm Asian, you're black, you're Hispanic, you're Vietnamese or, you know, like, you're who you are. And that's that, like, there's no such thing as a majority and a minority, especially with me seeing how diverse the area that I'm from is, how diverse we are. Anyway. Um, as I got older, and I was in college, and like, the Black Lives Matter movement really started picking up and it was starting to have a name. Um, I realized, well, not it wasn't more realization, it was more of like, I now understood I really am a minority, even if I felt like I was a majority. And I think that coming to that, I keep going to say realization, it's not a realization, because I knew the entire time I was growing up that I was a minority. I just didn't feel like I was in the minority category. But in college, I guess when I like really took everything in. I realized, like minorities really, like in the, in the justice system, we really don't have a voice. And so as much as I disagree with the violent protests, I am all for the, like, the peaceful protests. And I think it's really important that people understand that this isn't just about color. This is about a group of people who within the eyes of the justice system, they don't have equal opportunity as someone who the justice system is for, if that makes sense. And I don't know if I answered that, right, if that's what you were looking for.

No I mean, whatever answer you give is the answer that I'm looking for. I think you did a great job, but I just kind of think--I was wondering what your general perceptions of, I guess everything that's kind of been happening about, you know, conversations about racial injustice and all this stuff has, especially if it's your being kind of crazy as it is.

Yeah. Well, and it's also it's different, because, you know, I believe that our justice system isn't for everyone, I really feel like we have a lot of flaws, obviously, as in anything else. But you know, people who want to be ignorant about it, that's their prerogative. But I don't know, like, especially nowadays, not just with this, within this past year, but just within these past many years, it just shows more and more how much a minority doesn't have a voice. And it's kind of come to the point where they're tired of it, and I'm tired of it, and I get it, but maybe change is coming soon? Maybe not? I don't know.

Maybe, I guess we'll see. And then, are there any, I guess? I guess, what are your hopes for the future as far as like, maybe people's understanding of like adoption, or people's understanding of like, Asian culture, or racism? Or? I know it's a really broad question, but I guess, do you have any, like, thing that you really want to see happen in the future? As far as these kind of topics go?

That's a good question.

If you want, you can just focus on one of those you don't have to speak to all of them. But if there's anything that, that you want to speak to, then go ahead.

As far as adoption goes, whether it's International, or if it's domestic, um, I really hope people know how serious it is. I don't know if you saw and I think this was like, I don't know, within the last year or so. There was like a YouTube star who had adopted a boy who I think had either Down syndrome or autism or something, and they ended up like, giving him to another family. And just understanding that with adoption, and obviously, I'm all for it. But just really knowing like, what you're willing to take on, because a lot of these kids have a lot of emotional or physical or mental things that you have no control over that they have, and just be willing to work with them and finding them resources to help them work through that. For example, like, you know, I never really showed that I had any issues with my adoption. And I really didn't like growing up, I really didn't. But you know, my brother struggled with it a little more, and my family, got him into counseling to help work through those feelings. Or we have there was another family of ours or family friend of ours, that adopted and they were trying to figure out, like different ways to help them. They have their kids had like a, I guess, like a sensory processing disorder where they couldn't have certain materials on them, and they just couldn't tolerate different things with that. And so just knowing and being willing to learn about the different things that are going on with your child who you've adopted, I guess, is my biggest hope for the future. So that way, you know, people who do adopt, they don't end up rehoming those kids because they just found out or they didn't find out, but they just realized they couldn't handle it. If that makes sense. Because I mean, not that every kid you adopt is messed up by any means. That's not what I'm saying. It's just some kids have more baggage than others. And just being aware of that, I think, is what I hope people understand before they want to adopt.

Yeah, I think that all really, makes sense. Is there any, I guess advice you would want to give to someone who is adopted and potentially maybe going through some, like difficulties trying to figure out like their identity or?

You cut out at the very end, Mia.

Oh, no. Can you hear me? Hello? Can you hear me now? [Technical difficulties with TheirStory] Can you hear me now?

Yes.

Oh, my goodness, I hope this is all strung together. Okay. I'm sorry there's so many technical difficulties. The question I was asking was, I guess is there any advice you would want to give to anybody who is going through or who is adopted? About I guess, either, if they're facing like struggles with their identity or anything like that, what would be like a piece of advice you would want to give them?

My biggest piece is over advice is like, try to seek out a counselor who you trust. Obviously, it's really hard to dish out all your life secrets and all of your life, frustrations and stuff to a total stranger. But going through counseling and going through therapy, I think I've become a better person. And I've uncovered uncovered a lot of issues that have stemmed from my adoption that I didn't even know about. And so I think counseling is a really good kind of approach on trying to figure out who you are, and help you deal with the struggles that you're dealing with 100%.

Thank you for sharing that. That's definitely a good piece of advice to keep in mind. And then I guess the final question I have is, is there anything else that we didn't talk about that you would like to share any stories that you like to share that I didn't ask about? Or didn't get to?

No, no, thank you hit it all, I, I not that I have a bad memory. But a lot of my memories kind of just string together. So like, timewise, I have no idea when that actually happened. I can kind of guesstimate. But other than that. I mean, there's really nothing that sticks out at me that like, makes me think that I'm any different than any other kid from any other family, you know.

But, yeah, that'll make sense. Thank you for sharing all of all of your stories and all of your perceptions with me. I know it's kind of weird to do over the camera and with a total stranger, but I really appreciate your willingness to, I guess, have this for the historical record so that people can learn about experiences of being adopted.

Yeah. And I like I said, I really hope I answered the questions that you were wanting.

Yeah, I think you did a great job.

Yeah, sometimes I just start talking then I forget the question. And I'm like, Well, I hope that was it.

Alright, I'm going to go ahead and stop the recording, but we'll still be able to talk.